can attend special summer camps, for instance, or Mother's Day retreats like those hosted by the Massachusetts-based non-profit EmpowerHer, which works with girls whose mothers have died. Grief can be talked about and shared more publicly, experts say, and is acknowledged to last a long time. There are many kinds of support today, from the organized to the grassroots. I am encouraged to see that now a mom’s death is generally not handled the same way it was in 1993. Plus, our town was in the rural plains of Colorado, hours away from any city with services like a grief therapist, even if my grandparents had been open to that.īut the silence around grief also was a product of the times. I never once saw my grandfather shed a tear after his daughter died. They didn’t discuss feelings, good or bad. Mostly, this was because my mother's parents, who raised me, were old-fashioned folks who lived through the Dust Bowl. I'd spend the next 20 years attempting to understand what it means not to have a mother. When my mother died suddenly 30 years ago, I was 13.
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